Last night as I prepared for my nightly run, my legs wanted to have a conversation with me. It began harmless enough, but quickly escalated into the kind of conversation that I have with my two-year old. If you have ever spent time with a two year old, then you know that it gets really ugly very quickly if you try to make them do something that they do not want to do. The conversation went as follows:
Legs: “Hey! Whatcha doin’?”
Me: “I’m getting my shoes on to go run.”
Legs: “We already did that.”
Me: “On Saturday, we ran, but we have to run again tonight.”
Legs: “We don’t wanna.”
Me: “Too bad. We have to do this because we are in training.”
Me: “Yes, this is necessary. It is something that we HAVE to do.”
Legs: “NO! WE DON’T WANNA!”
Me: “It’s happening. End of discussion.”
They were quiet while I walked down to the park and then did my stretches. Then as I began my run, they began yelling.
Legs: “We hate you! You’re mean! We hate you!
Me: “Shut up and run!”
They then began chanting “We hate you” over and over with every stride.
Me: “Be quiet! We are almost done!”
Legs: “We hate you! We hate you!”
As I walked home, they continued to whisper mean and terrible things to me. And even as I climbed into bed they taunted me.
Me: “Good night.”
Legs: “Still hate you.”
Wait ‘til those sadistic brats see what I have planned for them tonight.