The **&%*)((*%^$&^^)( Wall: The Sequel

This year's Dirty 30 was even dirtier than last year. And we loved it. It has rained for the last 2 days.  So last year where there was dry land, this year was mud and mud puddles and in some places water up to your thighs. Two girls in front of me where yelling and whining about all the mud. Really?! It's called Dirty 30 for a reason. I tried to ignore them until one slipped in the mud and took me with her.  I pushed her off of me and straight into a big mud puddle (unintentionally, of course).  Then I turned a corner and there it was, my archnemesis, The )(*^#(*^@ wall.  It stood there all big and orange, mocking me, taunting me.  I got two steps up it and started to fall. Here we go again. Yes, I fell off the wall.... again. This year wasn't as high a fall as last year, but it still sucked.

Moving on... they had a few new obstacles. One was a tire mountain that you climb up to the top of a shipping container, climb down a plank, up another plank, and slide down a fireman's pole. I was doing just fine until I looked over the edge of the second container and saw just how far away that pole was. There were fireman on the ground telling people what to do. I yell down, "I don't know about this." He tried to reassure me that it would hold my weight.  Uh, thanks but that wasn't what I was worried about... until now. So he hollers up, "Think of it as a stripper pole." With my response being, does it look like I know how to work a stripper pole. Then the only thing flashing through my head is that commercial where the big girl puts a stripper pole in her living room to dance for her man and it breaks when she gets on it. Thanks for that, Mr. Fireman. But he walked me through step by step and I guess I did it so well that his parting comment was, "I knew you knew what to do". Shhhhh! Don't tell anyone.

There was tires, cargo nets, and hay bales, oh my. I even hopped the over-unders in record time like a good little Mexican. But the real clincher was a new ice bath. You had to jump in and go under some boards. You didn't have to completely submerge yourself, but it was enough to make you feel like you were on fire. Until you got out that is and then you were just numb. It took me a good minute to get any feeling back into my legs. My legs were moving on their own volition. I had nothing to do with it.  Then last but not least was the mud crawl. It's always the best part (and not just because it's at the end). I'm crawling. I'm crawling. Getting dirty. Then I hear people yelling my name. Yay, friends! Then they all scream, "Get Dirtier!" So I belly flop into the mud. It was so much fun. : )

Then we got hosed off by even more fireman. It was almost as cold as the ice bath. One fireman said that after 18 years as a fireman, this was the best day of his life. :) I don't think that he was talking about me, but you're welcome just the same. Mud, music, friends, and tacos. It was a good time.

So until next year...(%&^$%*& wall, I will defeat you. BAHAHAHA! oh, wait! You're the villian. Oh, well. BAHAHAHAHA!