A blog about my journey of training to run a 1/2 marathon with Team In Training and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and beyond.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Feeling So Guilty

I have heard over and over that you taking time for yourself can improve the quality of time that you spend with your family. That by making time for exercise is leading by example. But I'm here to tell you that THAT is easier said then done!

Hubs has been working out of town. Like WAY out of town, which makes me a suddenly single mom. I work a full-time job that requires me to be away from my children for 9 hours a day. Then we come home, do homework, cook, clean, play, visit, do sports (baseball, soccer, track, and now dance), and bathe and the envitable bed time story. At the end of the day, I'm exhausted. I could push through that if I needed to, but it's not like I can leave the kids at home by themselves while I go for a run.

Sure I have some options. I can check them out of one daycare and then check them into the daycare at the gym. I could ask my awesome running buddies to watch them for me. I could even drop them off at my mom's and go. That's when the guilt comes in. I am away from them so much and the rest of the time is spent working toward some goal (dinner, baths, homework, sports) that I don't feel like I have time to SPEND with them. So running has fallen to the wayside until I can figure out a good balance for me.

I know I have the weekends, but I miss my husband so much that I can hardly pull myself away when he is home.

I'll figure this out, I know. But until then my pace times are taking a beating.

Peace, Love, and Family.

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